男人的英语vs女人的英语
说英语也有性别之分
语言本是人们沟通的工具，没有性别之分，但由于男女的社会分工、性格特色、生理特点不同，每一种语言都深深地打上了性别的烙印。在国外，有部分社会语言学家，专门研究语言与性别的关系。美国有一位学者Graham Goodwin，从1980年到1990年，先后十次，在费城街头，收集不同年龄、种族、职业的男、女行人的谈话，进行比较研究，结果发现，与男人的语言相比，女人的语言至少有下列特点。
A 女人喜欢使用第一人称复数(我们)形式，比如We need……(我们需要)，而男人喜欢使用第一人称单数(我)，比如I want……(我想要)。
B女人喜欢使用平易、通俗的单词，比如用nice、sweet等来形容(好)，而男人喜欢使用华丽、夸张的单词，比如用splendid、gorgeous等来形容“好”。
C女人喜欢创造一些比较女性化的说法，比如dove grey(类似鸽子羽毛的灰色)，而男人喜欢使用英语标准的说法，比如light grey(浅灰色)。
D女人重视语法的正确性，比如We＇re going to……(我们正在去/即将去)，而男人不重视语法的正确性，比如We＇re gonna……(我们正在去/即将去)。
E女人喜欢直接引用，比如Hannah said that……(汉娜说)，而男人喜欢间接引用，比如She said that……(她说)。
F女人喜欢礼貌表达，比如Would you please……(您能)，而男人喜欢常规表达，比如Can you……(你能)。
最后一个，同时也是最重要的一个特点，那就是女人喜欢倾听，而男人喜欢诉说，比如下面一段对话，拿给普通的美国人看一遍，然后让他们判断一下A和B的性别，结果所有人都认为：喋喋不休的A是男人，随声附和的B是女人。
A I saw a kingfisher Saturday morning.
B Did you﹖
A It took off about three feet from my side. I didn＇t see it in the bush. It took off out of a bush...
B Mmmm.
A Passed the front of my canoe and flew into a tree. I sat there...
B Very nice.
A and thought ...
B Yeah.
A It looked down at me and it was really bright.
B Beautiful.
希望看完后各位贸易界人士今后可以在商场情场游刃有余，左右逢源。
MEN'S ENGLISH
I'm hungry = I'm hungry.
I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy.
I'm tired = I'm tired.
Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.
Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you.
Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you.
May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.
Nice dress! = Nice cleavage!
You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to fondle you.
What's wrong? = I don't see why you are making such a big deal out of this.
What's wrong? = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?
What's wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question.
I'm bored = Do you want to have sex?
I love you = Let's have sex now.
I love you, too = Okay, I said it, we'd better have sex now!
Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = I liked it better before.
Yes, I like the way you cut your hair = $50 and it doesn't look that much different!
Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep.
person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me.
Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys.
(while shopping) I like that one better = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!
I don't think that blouse and that skirt go well together = I am gay.
WOMEN'S ENGLISH
Yes = No.
No = Yes.
Maybe = No.
I'm sorry = You'll be sorry.
We need = I want.
It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.
Do what you want = You'll pay for this later.
We need to talk = I need to complain.
Sure go ahead = I don't want you to.
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.
You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs.
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.
I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.
Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.
Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.
How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like.
I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.
Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful.
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me.
Are you listening to me!? = Too late, you're dead.
Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.
I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.
The same old thing = Nothing.
Nothing = Everything.
Everything = My PMS is acting up.
Nothing, really = It's just that you're such an asshole.
